The Old Apartment

Certain songs are like bookmarks; just hearing them takes us back to certain times in our lives (you were so right Kenny).

When I was in college, The Barenaked Ladies were just breaking with their first hit The Old Apartment; a quick piece of trivia, the video for this single was directed by Jason Priestly of 90210 fame (and who could forget him on the lesser-known Sister Kate?). I heard this song today and it took me back to 1990 something when life was certainly easier and the biggest problem I faced was whether or not go hit Ted’s or Huskies first on a Thursday night. Sorry Kenny, no short bed Chevy for this city boy.

Today, though, I heard this song with a different set of ears; a different filter of sorts influenced by all the grown up things I have done such as getting married, owning a home, and becoming a father. Let’s add getting back in touch with my Catholic faith to that list of events as well shall we?

This song is about someone who has left a relationship only to try and return to find that his love has moved on. The old apartment has been rented to someone else. The memories remain, but the writer can never live there again. While this may be true with our more “human” relationships, this is not the case when it comes to those relationships that are divine in nature. Our spiritual apartment, although it may be vacant, will never be rented to someone else. It is always waiting for us to come back home.

I know many people who have left the church and feel a tug on their heartstrings pulling them to come back home. They wonder will I be accepted? Will I have to be re-baptized? Like a child who has run away from home over a small argument with his parents, the Church will welcome you back and be comforted that you have come back.

The song Open Arms by Journey always made it on every mix tape I ever made for a girl; that’s right kids, before we had playlists we had mix tapes. Ill tell you about the lost art of the mix tape at another time. The Church will welcome us back with open arms so long as we make the first move (does anyone but me remember the show Its Your Move with Jason Bateman? “Block that kick, please block that kick,”). Sorry for the digression.

Are you one of those who want to explore a return “home?” Are you wondering what you have to do? Just take a deep breath and enter the old apartment that is your spiritual home. The locks have not been changed.

The $.99 Download and the Catholic Identity Crisis

I remember studying psychology as an undergraduate and being introduced to Gestalt thinking. The primary philosophy underlying Gestalt thinking is that the whole is greater than the sum of its parts. In practical terms, this means that we as people are all more than the sum of our memories and experiences. This goes hand in hand with the notion of freewill; our past does not chain us down to anything. Why do two people with similar upbringings wind up on different sides of the spectrum in life? Because we are more than what our genetics and past dictate we are

I think that to some extent this philosophy holds true for music. On its most granular level a song is much more than the sum of its core components; lyrics, notes, rhythm, melody, and harmony. On a more grand scale, an album is more than the sum of its individual songs. An artist will take time to consider what songs to include on an album and the order in which they should be placed. While this is especially true for concept albums that are designed to tell a story, it also holds true for regular albums; the artist has an idea in mind and from this idea songs are selected to be recorded, they are arranged in a certain manner, and an album is born.

The age of the $.99 download does a disservice to not only the artist but also to the listener. By not committing to the full album, the listener will not experience a song as it was intended to be heard by the artist; in the context of a larger album or story.

We have the same problem with religion; particularly within Catholicism. I know many Catholics who prefer the $.99 download version of the faith vs. embracing the entire album. I am not singling out those “Cafeteria Plan” Catholics who pick and choose which parts of the faith to believe or follow; we need healthy and open debate in the Church as the Church is a living being. Rather, I am referring to those Catholics who don’t embrace the larger implications of being Catholic.

The $.99 version of Catholicism is akin to practicing the faith by doing the bare minimum; attending mass once per week. Unfortunately, depending on what source of information you read, up to 40% of Catholics don’t even do that.

Calling oneself Catholic must not be something we do passively but something we are. Most of us are baptized Catholic when we have no say in the matter. It is a passive event. As we move through the Sacraments of initiation we often do so passively. But like the Velveteen Rabbit who eventually becomes real, we must continually become Catholic thorough our experiences and conscious choices.

Being a Catholic must become part of our identity; how we define ourselves. We can be no less Catholic than we can be less Irish, Italian, black or white. We must remember that being Catholic means we are to love our neighbor unconditionally and that the opposite of expressing this love is alienating others by our attitudes, behavior, and, most notably, apathy.

When being Catholic becomes part of our identity, we start to live every day seeking opportunities to serve others and, fortunately, we don’t have to look far. When we are conscious of our desire to serve others, we see need all around us. From the homeless man asking for a handout, to the confused tourist looking to make his way uptown, to a client who is struggling to make a business case to his/her management, opportunities to serve others are oftentimes an arms length away.

When does this ‘becoming’ begin? The Sacraments of initiation are a good start but it cannot end with one’s Confirmation. We must continue to live the faith day in and day out in order to live what it means to be Catholic. For this reason, joining a Parish, attending mass regularly, and being an active member of the Parish community are critical in our solving the Catholic identity crisis. Surrounding ourselves with others who believe as we do provides the encouragement we sometimes need to keep climbing the mountain (not hill) of faith.

When does this ‘becoming’ end? There is no expiration date on the Catholic identity. We don’t retire from it. It ends with our death; which to us as Catholics, of course, is really the beginning of an eternal life. That said, if every day of our lives is spent serving others in some capacity, that life full of giving and compassion cannot really die. Someone who has been impacted by our kindness and generosity will pick up where we left off. If our children are witnesses to our living with a Catholic identity, they will continue our work. The Catholic identity thus becomes cyclical; identity crisis solved.

It is not my place to determine how Jesus intended His message of love, mercy, and compassion to be heard. I can only assume He wanted them heard in the context of life’s present vs. its past. I can only assume that He wanted His message to only pass through our ears on its way to our hearts and into our DNA. As such, ask yourselves, are you living the $.99 download version of the Catholic faith or are you buying the album?

Molding Clay

I remember being a kid and listening to certain tapes in my Sony Walkman so much that they would wear out and sound distorted after a while; kind of like when the batteries were running low or when the dentist gives you too much laughing gas. I would listen to certain albums/tapes so much that I would actually come to hate them after a while. Kind of Ironic, don’t you think? And, FYI Alanis, most of the things you mention in that song are unfortunate, not ironic, but I digress.

The point is, over time I became careful not to “party out” and listen to an album I liked so much that I would wind up hating it. When U2s latest, No Line on the Horizon, came out, I listened to it at least once a day for 2 weeks and decided to put it away until I saw them in concert. Most of the show I saw a few weeks ago centered around the latest album and it was only then I remembered how great this album is.

There is one song in particular that stands out; track 5 is I’ll Go Crazy if I don’t go Crazy Tonight. The last 2 lines of the second verse and the chorus stand out for me:

How can you stand next to the truth and not see it


Oh, a change of heart comes slow



*

It's not a hill, it's a mountain


As you start out the climb


Do you believe me or are you doubting


We're gonna make it all the way to the light


But I know I'll go crazy if I don't go crazy tonight

All of us spiritual seekers out there who actively pray that the hard hearts of others will soften are sometimes disappointed that the process does not happen as quickly as we would like. I know many people who are seeking to change the hearts of others on important social issues and many are left frustrated that the process takes so long and that little progress seems to be made. We have to remember that such a change does not happen on our time.

The Holy Spirit works more like a sculptor molding clay than a robot fabricating parts for a new Chevy. It takes time to chisel away the imperfect as the artist’s vision comes to life. It cannot be rushed. As the chorus of this song suggests, life is more of a mountain than it is a hill. To successfully climb a mountain requires faith and trust in others. To climb the spiritual mountain of life requires that we trust in something bigger than ourselves and that we make the time to analyze the sources of doubt that invariably spring up from time to time.

I love how the chorus ends suggesting an element of faith that the goal of making it towards the light will be accomplished but only after a little craziness is had along the way. This is a reminder of our own humanity; we may strive to live saintly lives, but every now and then we are reminded by our human nature that we will fall down along the way. The important question to ask is, what do we do when we get back up if we get back up at all?

5 Minutes of Funk

As much as I miss the summer I have to admit that I love evenings in the fall; particularly when everyone else in the house is asleep and I have my dog Reilly and writing partner Clos Du Bois to serve as inspiration. And, no, Clos Du Bois is not related to Benson Du Bois; at least not that I know of. Perhaps we should ask Clayton Endicott to settle this one.

I spend a lot of time with consumers asking them questions about products, brands, unmet needs etc. but I am convinced that I really only need the answer to one key question to gain insight into their inner selves; What was the first record you bought with your own money? Okay, so maybe it was not a record, but for most of you it was probably a cassette tape, for another group of you it was likely a CD and for a small minority of you it was likely a digital download. Think about it though, with a ton of options to choose from, what music motivated you so much that you spent your own money on it.

I remember my first album purchase vividly, mainly due to the reactions of my parents and siblings. It was Whodini’s Escape. I was about 9 years old and growing up in suburban Connecticut and was supposed to be buying Van Halen or Duran Duran but, much to the dismay of people around me, I started listening to rap music. Escape was closely followed by Run DMC’s Raising Hell; to this day I remember my twin brother and my sister referring to my newfound musical taste as “rap crap.”

For a little white boy in Stamford, CT to purchase “black music” was unconventional to say the least, but I did not let it bother me. I liked it. It was different. Yet, after a while, my musical taste began to change and I started getting into Heavy Metal. “From bad to worse,” my mother would tell you. I had a fondness for Iron Maiden, Def Leppard, and much of the “white bands” from the late 80s (White Lion, Whitesnake, Great White, etc.). Then, my parents all time nightmare came true, I started listening to Rap/Rock fusion which was made popular by the Beastie Boys and a thrash metal band known as Anthrax who would pave the way for later acts such as Kid Rock and Limp Bizkit. A brief aside, thank you Rob Salminen who lent me his copy of Among the Living – I am still convinced the “bad dude” from Poltergeist II was the inspiration for the cover of that album.

Recently, I started listening to a country act called Big and Rich who tends to blend hard rock, country music, and rap into their songwriting. For many of you that may sound like a symphony from hell, but to me it sounds pretty cool.

Why am I sharing all of this? Consider that our musical taste may be unconventional to those who don’t share the same feelings. Others may not understand it; they may not like it. Faith is similar. To those who grew up with different belief systems, or no belief systems at all, seeing us practice and live our faith may be a bit strange. They may think us silly. This, of course, does not mean we cannot get along; I am sure all those years ago my siblings still liked me even though our musical tastes were different.

Sometimes, though, our actions might influence others to question their belief systems and explore new avenues that they may not have otherwise considered. Just as my friend Rob turned me on to some new music that I would never have considered listening to, the same principle may hold true for our faith lives. Perhaps this is why it is so important for those of us who have faith to not be apathetic about it and to not take it for granted. We must not let our faith lives go dormant once our “Sunday Obligation” has been met. We must go out in the world and serve others. It is through our generosity, our selflessness, and our care for others that we can be a force for change in this world.

If you have a minute, leave a comment with what your first album was. I'd like to know...

Hey Man Nice Shot

Something amazing happened today, I got shot in the arm (figuratively of course). I was up for a project with a company that I used to work for and found out today that my current company was not awarded the contract. Apparently, someone I used to work for said some not so nice things about yours truly.

So, like Kenny Chesney, “I go back” to my former days with this company and my interactions with my former Bawana. Now it would be very easy for me to get angry about this and suggest that the old boss had a chip on his shoulder. So easy, in fact, that I did let my anger get the best of me after hearing this news. I was in one of those moods where only a little loud music would do and so I turned on the 90s rock station and heard Filter’s Hey Man Nice Shot.

As I listened to the song, I reflected on the news I just heard and dissected my reaction to it; which, you know by now, was not exactly positive. I then thought to myself, what if I am wrong? What if I did something that really hurt this guy and put him in a bad position? People only “blacklist” others when the offender has done something so terrible to cause a deep emotional wound. Could that be the case with me?

As I continued to reflect on that time in my life, I realize that it was not uncommon for me to concentrate more on my own self interests than those of the organization I worked for. I had certain career aspirations that were not in line with where my job at the time was going and it is plausible that my behavior may have been impacted by this “gap” between personal goals and circumstance. I took risks to make my job more in line where I wanted it to go vs. where my boss and his boss needed it to go. This likely led to selfish actions and poor judgement on my part that I was unaware of because I was blinded by ambition. So, who is the jerk in this scenario? Me of course!

Why admit this? Well, there is a saying I hear often which goes “We are not perfect, but God asks us to try anyway.” If we do not confess our own shortcomings, they will never become real to us and we will never learn from them. So, instead of being angry with the old boss, I want to thank him for reminding me that my halo is in desperate need of repair. In other words, Hey Man, Nice Shot!