Monday, November 30, 2009

The Advent Adventure

We children of the 80s hold a special place in our hearts for 1985’s Back to the Future. Imagine being able to travel backwards or forwards in time with nothing but a used DeLorean, a Flux Capacitor, and, of course, some plutonium stolen from Libyan nationalists. I know stealing is a sin but let’s face it; they were up to no good with it.

What would we do with such ability? I can think of a few actions I would like to erase from Carlon history; like the time I poured chocolate milk down my parents brand new hi-fi during a big party at our home or the time I said something really hurtful to someone close to me. In short, I would rather change some poor decisions I made rather than take a trip into the future to see who will win the 2010 World Series and make some serious cash by placing a winning bet (that said, I don’t need a time machine to know that it will likely not be the NY Mets).

What does this have to do with Advent? Last night my wife asked me to describe the significance of Advent to her and the kids. I’d like to think I learned something in my K-12 Catholic education so I offered the following reply.

Advent is a time of anticipation. It is a formal time set aside for us to reflect on whether or not we are ready to accept a savior into our hearts; and all that doing so entails. That Advent has its own season suggests it is a time to retreat from our regular lives to identify any obstacles we may have put up through our actions that may prevent us from fully experiencing the Christmas miracle.

Advent then becomes adventure; a time to identify our shortcomings, map a plan to overcome those shortcomings, and begin a journey down a more Christ like path.

While we don’t have Dr. Emmett Brown’s time machine at our disposal to erase the poor decisions of our past, we do have one tool that can help us prepare for the miracle of Christmas in our hearts; the Sacrament of Reconciliation. While many Catholics, myself included, have drifted away from this Sacrament as we moved into our adult lives, we must recognize that Advent provides a wonderfully appropriate opportunity for us to make confession and return to a state of grace.

Beginning our Advent adventure with a blank slate will help us truly experience the presents that await us after the wax from that fourth purple candle of the Advent wreath begins to melt. No, not those presents that come in wrapped boxes under the tree. Rather, those gifts that come when we realize that a savior has come to this world to carry the cross of our shame. The gift of joy we experience by serving and loving one another the ways we want to be loved and the gift of relief when we realize that we can surrender our burdens to He who so loved the world that He offered unto us His only Son.

Every Breath you Take

I was very close with my maternal grandmother. My twin brother suffers from asthma and was in and out of the hospital when we were little. He absorbed much of my mother’s attention and, as a result, my grandmother would drive west to Plantation, FL from her condo on Pompano Beach to help take care of my older siblings and me.

Grandma and I had a very special bond that was broken in May of 1992 when she succumbed to cancer. Her timing really was awful; it was right before Mother’s Day, my twin and I were just about to graduate from high school, my sister was about to be married, and my older brother was about to open his first wine store. It was hard to believe that she would not be there to witness these events and the parties that went along with them; she always loved a good party.

Is that entirely true though? Would she really not be there?

I have a vivid memory of my grandmother’s wake, not of the scores of people who came to pay their respects, but of the scent of the flowers that surrounded her casket at the Gallagher funeral home. I will never forget that smell.

I remember leaving the funeral home after all of my siblings; I had borrowed my sister’s car for the night as she drove with her fiancĂ©e. I wanted to be the last person to leave. As I left the funeral home, my sense of olfaction was cleansed by the warm spring air as I walked through the parking lot and got into the car. I turned the car on and was greeted by the Police’s Every Breath You Take:

Every breath you take and every move you make

Every bond you break

Every step you take, I'll be watching you

Every single day and every word you say

I’ll be watching you

I inexplicably smelled the flowers from the funeral home as I heard Sting’s lyrics. I know this song is supposed to be from the point of view of a stalker, but for that brief moment in time it was being sung to me from the point of view of my grandmother. I truly believe it was her final gift to me; a way of telling me that even though she is gone, I will be okay. She will still continue to watch over me.

What a comforting thought, that those who have left this world to join the next will still continue to watch over us as guardian angels of sorts. Every now and then, when I am facing a difficult decision or a trial in my life, I sometimes smell those flowers as if my grandmother were right next to me trying to help me find a solution to whatever is troubling me.

As Christians, we believe that Jesus is still with us and by turning towards Him and putting our faith and trust in Him, our burdens will ease. I truly believe that the experience I had the night of my grandmother’s wake is a gift. It is a reminder of the reality that through Christ, all things are possible and all will be taken care of.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

The Sin of Denying a Vocation

I had a Religion teacher in high school, Mr. Roper, who impressed upon us the nature of sin. Up to that point in our lives, we believed that various acts, in and of themselves, were simply sinful. For example, treating your mother and father poorly, treating others unfairly, lying about something, etc.

Mr. Roper though, told us why these sins were, well, sinful. He explained that all sins can be traced back to the act of alienating oneself from others. Further, by doing so, we actually alienate ourselves from God as it is God’s will that we love one another. The actions described above, and many others, stem from acts of alienation. Therefore, Mr. Roper argued, that there is only one sin in this world and that is the sin of alienation (not to be confused by the 1988 film Alien Nation starring James Caan who was also in The Godfather. From the Godfather to Alien Nation; I could argue Caan's accepting the lead role in this horrible movie was a sin in and of itself but I digress).

I took on this simplistic worldview for a while and then, while considering the life of one of my closest friends, I started to challenge my beliefs in this area. My friend Robert (not his real name) came from a very strict family. He was extremely bright making the honor roll during all four years attending a very prestigious Catholic prep school.

He was talented at both mathematics and writing. He could have been an accountant or writer, or perhaps a writer of accounting standards (as exciting as that sounds). However, when Robert left home to attend a very prestigious private University, the sudden influx of freedom was too much to handle. His grades slipped. He was given 4 warnings and was later asked to leave the school. He bounced around a few more colleges after that, but he never graduated. Now, this former honor roll student runs around doing odd jobs well below his ability. He often does not go to bed until 4 am and treats his personal relationships poorly.

I know that Robert’s home life was abysmal. While his parents supported him financially, the emotional support critical to fueling a person’s self esteem was not present. However, at what point to we wake up and recognize the need to overcome such an obstacle? At what point do we accept responsibility for the poor choices that we consciously make even when we know better? At what point do we choose not to have our present actions dictated by our past?

My friend’s experience and choices made me realize that alienation is not the only sin in the world. The conscious decision to deny one’s vocation is also a sin. It is a sin of wasted potential.

When I was younger, the term vocation meant a call to religious life; an arguably very narrow definition. Now I come to understand that we are all called to something; we all have abilities and gifts given to us by God and tasked to use these abilities to spread the Gospel’s messages of love, forgiveness and salvation. Its not just through preaching, but through raising a family in the faith, treating others with kindness, running a business grounded in moral principles, keeping a blog, etc.

Choosing not to develop our gifts and therefore not to use our abilities in the service of others is just as much a sin as bearing false witness against one’s neighbor. If we consciously choose not to cultivate these talents we are, in a sense, saying no to God.

As I write these words, I find myself at the crossroads where these two sins (alienation and denying vocations) interconnect. I can choose to alienate my friend and not encourage him to take a different path or I can pick up the phone and have a heart to heart conversation with him. There is much more to be said about this theme, and more words I can write; however, I have a phone call to make.

St. Leo - The Godfather

The Godfather is one of my favorite books primarily because of Don Corleone; a character whose sense of family and honor is shadowed by his own brutality. It is hard to argue that "I'll make him an offer he can't refuse," is not one of the best character catch phrases ever ascribed to a character in print or on film.

A few weeks ago, our parish celebrated the feast of our patron Saint; St. Leo. During the homily, our pastor told us the story (again) of St. Leo and one of the things St. Leo (then Pope) is famous for. Atilla the Hun was planning on invading Rome until he was met outside the city by Pope Leo I. History does not account for what was said at the meeting, but Atilla decided not to invade Rome.

In my mind, Pope Leo I must have made him an offer he could not refuse. I wonder if any of Atilla's horses were missing a head after the meeting....

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Back in the High Life

This weekend I took the kids to see the most recent adaptation of A Christmas Carol. It is one of my favorite stories primarily because it deals with the very simple, yet powerful, theme of repentance. As rich as he is, Scrooge realizes that he has lived his life quite poorly and is given a second chance. Quite a Catholic (in the religious as well as universal sense) message indeed; we ask for forgiveness and a forgiving God grants it unto us.

Later that weekend, I was driving with the kids and Steve Winwood’s Back in the High Life came on.

It used to seem to me

That my life ran on too fast

And I had to take it slowly

Just to make the good parts last

But when you're born to run

It's so hard to just slow down

So don't be surprised to see me

Back in that bright part of town

I'll be back in the high life again

All the doors I closed one time will open up again

I'll be back in the high life again

All the eyes that watched me once will smile and take me in

I cannot help but think that Charles Dickens could have penned these lyrics for Ebenezer Scrooge to sing after he woke up on Christmas morning and realized that he is, indeed, alive.

The idea of a second chance goes hand in hand with the notion of freewill; we are free to choose the road on which we walk and our not predestined by our creator to take a particular direction. Sometimes that road is smooth while other times it is bumpy. If we learn from our mistakes, and sincerely wish to change the road on which we are traveling, it is comforting to know that we have a second chance; a mulligan of sorts.

How do we engage such a second chance? As Catholics, we often take for granted the Sacrament of Reconciliation. Many Catholics and non-Catholics alike question the need for this Sacrament to begin with. I used to be one of them. The notion that another man can forgive us our sins just because he wears a roman collar used to seem preposterous to me. Truth be told, I did not know what the Sacrament was all about.

As a 35 year old man I now realize that there are 3 components to this Sacrament:

  1. The penitent recognizing that he has sinned and feeling a desire to be absolved of this sin
  2. The penitent confessing his sin to a priest
  3. The Holy Spirit working through the priest to absolve the penitent man of his sin

A reasonable person might question whether or not simply asking God on a personal level is good enough for seeking reconciliation. The counter argument to that is that when you confess to someone else, you make the fact that you have sinned more real. On a psychological basis, hearing your own words come out of your own mouth and flowing into the ears of another provides a sense of accountability for the sin. Theoretically, this action should reduce the chances of committing that sin again. On a theological basis, of course, the Gospel of John (Chapter 20) tell us that Jesus said to his apostles (the first priests) “Whoever sins you forgive are forgiven.” Theologically, then, Jesus bestowed this power to his closest followers.

Thinking this through, Freewill, then, cannot exist without the Sacrament of Reconciliation to help erase the mistakes we choose to make as we live our lives.

Scrooge had 3 confessors in A Christmas Carol; the ghost of Christmas Past, the ghost of Christmas present, and the ghost of Christmas yet to come. We need not seek out these 3 spirits to put our lives back on track. All we need to do is seek out a priest and ask to be absolved from our sins. And, believe me, priets will be happy to help. Many times, they are looking for a little company in the confessional.

Healthcare Reform: Treating the Symptoms and not the Cause

President Obama, Hillary Clinton, and the majority leaders in both houses of Congress are not the first group of people to realize that the health care system in the United States is in need of reform. The US Conference of Catholic Bishops has been preaching on this for decades. The fact that health care costs have risen so high to the point where tens of millions of Americans cannot afford health care coverage or elect not to pay for it suggests that the current system is broken. Access to affordable health care is a key component of Catholic Social Teaching and the fact that millions of Americans do not have access to it is simply wrong; dare I say sinful. The Bishops are right to call for reform.

This issue has become politicized, meaning that a lot of people on both sides of the aisle use manipulated data points and fear tactics to push their agendas. Really difficult problems become very simple (albeit watered down) sound bytes. The average American has no idea what the proposed House bill is all about; it is, of course 2,000 pages long and no doubt filled with all of that legal mumbo jumbo that causes me to break out in hives (personally, the world would be better off with fewer lawyers and fewer tax accountants, but that is another post all together). The point is, all most of us know about this legislation is what we hear politicized on the news.

One issue that has received a lot of airtime surrounds whether or not federal dollars will be used to fund abortions. With over 50% of people in this country now considering themselves pro-life, the thought that their tax dollars may be used to fund abortions is, frankly, sinful. Initially, the President understood and respected this position as he, on multiple occasions, pointed out that abortion will not be covered by the legislation under consideration. However, over the past few decades we have come not to take our politicians at their word so, when a House Democrat from Michigan, Bart Stupak, pushed for an amendment clearly spelling out that federal dollars would not be used to fund abortions, President Obama should have been relieved for 2 reasons; 1 it clearly states something the president has promised and 2. this amendment was the primary reason the house voted in favor of the bill.

The fallout from this event has been interesting to watch. The President and speaker Pelosi along with other pro-abortion democrats are not happy with the House bill in its current form. They are not pleased with the Stupak amendment and many in the senate have pledged not to vote for any health care reform bill that contains this language. Given the President’s multiple statements regarding abortion and healthcare reform, it begs the question, why?

Put that maddening puzzle aside for a second. I suggest that even if you are pro-abortion, you should be in favor of the Stupak amendment if you want this bill to pass. Here’s why:

  1. The bill does not prevent abortion from being funded by federal dollars in the case of rape, incest, or when the mother’s life is in danger. Otherwise, arguably abortion is not a necessary medical procedure but rather an elective surgery. Which other elective surgeries are covered by this proposed legislation?
  1. Abortions are actually one of the least expensive medical procedures to have performed, particularly early on in a pregnancy. In fact, it costs less for an early term abortion than it does for many vision procedures or dental procedures that are not covered by most health plans.
  1. This amendment does not ban abortion, it simply prohibits the use of federal dollars to fund abortions under the new legislation. It simply applies the principles of the Hyde Amendment to this new legislation. As such, cost to the woman seeking an abortion do not change as a result of the Stupak Amendment nor does her access to having that abortion.

All of this, however, should be a moot point. With or without abortion, health care reform, as it is being addressed by the administration and congress, should not see the light of day because it does not address the root causes of why health care costs have escalated to where they are. Consider the following:

  1. Doctors have to charge higher fees to cover exorbitant malpractice insurance premiums. Additionally, healthcare costs rise when doctors order unnecessary tests to cover their “you know whats” for fear of misdiagnosis which can lead to further legal liability. If this liability is not “capped,” this cycle of high premium/unnecessary tests will expand and continue to add to inflation in the healthcare sector.
  1. Managed care organizations (of which the government is proposing to become the largest if the public option passes) only reimburse doctors a fraction of their fees. Additionally, doctors have to wait a long time to get paid and, as a result, must see more patients to maintain their income (and pay off all those debts incurred in medical school). Seeing 30+ patients a day (and finding the time to deal with multiple insurance hassles – ie taking multiple calls from a pharmacy about Ms. Smith's Medicare not covering Forteo) leads to fatigue, which increases the possibility of making a misdiagnosis.

The interrelated dynamics of number 1 and number 2 are what cause healthcare costs to continually inflate. They will continue to do so even if every American has affordable healthcare available to them. As a result, our taxes will increase proportionately. We will not be solving the healthcare cost crises; rather, we will be funding costs that will continue to escalate by robbing from Peter to pay Paul. Responsibility will now be on a wider base of Americans (i.e. all tax payers) vs. just those who currently pay for premiums. The fact that not all Americans pay taxes, but will have access to government sponsored healthcare is another post all together.

Real healthcare reform must address the root causes of escalating healthcare costs. Otherwise you are treating the symptom and not the cause. As such, with or without the Stupak amendment, this administration’s approach to healthcare reform should takeoff like a led zeppelin.

Sunday, November 8, 2009

Proponents of Eliminating Ability Grouping Should Lace Up their Skates

Originally printed in the Nov 12 Edition of The Stamford Advocate

Like many readers of the Stamford Advocate, I have been following the back and forth on ability grouping in our City’s public school. Both sides use their own biases to select data to support their arguments. Such conflicting statements based on supposed facts make it hard for readers to form their own opinion. Of course, as observers, we are left in the dark regarding where these facts come from, how many subjects were used in the study, whether or not other studies support conclusions etc. Importantly, we do not know whether or not these studies are conducted in markets comparable to Stamford on the basis of demographics, socioeconomic status, etc.

That said, we don’t have to turn to studies from Stanford, Harvard, Yale, or Columbia to make up our minds on this issue. All we have to do is sit rink side, courtside, or on any other “sideline” as we watch our kids practice for sports. This should not be hard for most of us to do as Stamford is such a sports oriented community.

Take hockey for example. My daughter is on the Tiger Sharks who practice at Terry Connors on Saturday mornings. The coaches take the entire group of kids and split them in half; those who skate better than others go to one side of the ice while those who need more help go to the other side. This is done so that those who are more advanced get more advanced instruction and those who need more help get more remedial instruction. My daughter was on the “remedial” side of the ice last year and worked hard to get to the more advanced side this year. She had a goal in mind (literally and figuratively) and she worked hard to meet it. As a result, her self-esteem improved as did her willingness to try harder to master her skating and puck handling skills.

Let’s go beyond practice and look at games. In games, hockey teams are broken out into 3 lines based on ability. The first line includes the “best” players while the second line includes those who are still mastering their skills. The third line includes those who may be newer to the team and need more instruction. Each line gets the chance to skate multiple times during a period. In games, the first line of team A matches up with the first line of team B. this is done to insure kids of similar ability play each other. What would happen if line 1 of team A faces line 3 of team B? You can debate the conclusion but, more often than not, I would pose that team B gets destroyed.

This same principle holds true for the playing field that is the classroom. Mixing our classrooms with kids of vastly different abilities may ultimately serve to hurt everyone involved. If our teachers choose to focus their time on those who need the most help comprehending a concept, those who have mastered the concept will suffer because they can’t “move on.” Alternatively, if the teacher caters to those who are most advanced, those who need more help will be left frustrated as they many not cannot comprehend the concept as quickly as others.

The motivation to eliminate ability grouping in Stamford public schools is supposedly to level the playing field for all of our city’s children. Proponents suggest that placing students in a lower performing track may do psychological harm to those in such track and increase self perpetuating feelings of helplessness which are hard to overcome. This is an issue of stigmas associated with such an ability group and not the result of being in that group. Perhaps we should work to remove the stigmas and not the groups themselves.

Further, proponents say that eliminating grouping will improve the educational experiences for our city’s minority students who are over represented in such ability groups. Even if eliminating grouping improves the educational experiences of some children, it does not address why certain children were in underperforming groups to begin with. This is the biggest flaw with the proposal to eliminate grouping; it fails to address why so many children from our more urban areas are over represented in lower ability groups. As such, eliminating grouping is akin to treating a disease by removing the symptoms instead of preventing the disease itself; sure it may work, but it is rather inefficient, and not a long term solution.

Human beings are diverse in ways other than race; we all have varying levels of ability. Some of us are stronger in certain areas than others. My twin brother was much better at reading and English (and you may argue writing) while I was stronger in math and science. Some of us learn differently than others, some of us need more time to grasp concepts while others grasp them quickly and are ready to move on. We need to learn at our own pace and be placed with others who learn at a similar pace. This does not mean that, as we master skills, we cannot “change lines.” Of course we can and our educational system should allow us to do so. Eliminating ability grouping will do more harm than good, even in those who are intended to benefit by such an action.